Report from Special Agent Althea (a.k.a. Commando Cutie) to HQ:As instructed, I have been monitoring the recent activities of the nefarious "Sandman." And just as you thought, sir, he is trying to turn night into day and day into night!
I have kept a careful log and somehow he is managing to make it dark in the daytime and very light at night. (Some sort of mass hypnotic suggestion, perhaps?)
All efforts are made to make me sleep during this alleged "night" and act as though this "day" time were the main time for playing and eating. Ridiculous! I am sad to report that my Baba and Mommy are apparently part of the plot as well. At first I feared they were full double agents, but their sympathy leads me to believe they are merely the Sandman's dupes.
I have had to use every technique you taught me in training camp, sir. Basic fussiness helps me quite a bit, but I have often had to resort to prolonged wailing. (And to think I wondered why you insisted on those daily wailing calistenics!) From about 1 am to 4 am every night, I never sleep except for about two minute cat-naps. I purposely take these in the most uncomfortable position I can find to prevent deeper sleep from occurring. My mommy surrounds me with cushy blankets and soft toys, but I always try to select a good book to jam into my abdomen before dropping off for my two minutes of surrender.
Some other observations: although my parents pretend to just be reading to me, I have noticed mysterious changes occur when "night" falls. (1) their reading becomes far less exciting. No silly voices or tickling. Sometimes they just silently turn pages. (2) the lights in my nursery periodically seem to dim. I don't know if this is just my imagination, but it seems to occur when one of their hands ducks out of sight. Some sort of remote control device, no doubt. I will endeavor to obtain it and secure it somewhere, but they frequently undress me for what can only be full body searches. (3) My formula seems a bit warm and tends to have a sleepy effect. Could they be slipping me a Mickey? or perhaps a Minnie?
At one point I even resorted to disguise in an attempt to overhear more of their schemes. I used my patented watermelon disguise. But my obsessive hat removal tendencies thwarted that plan. Sorry sir.Although "day" is the right time to sleep, I still fuss a little even before my naps, just to keep in shape. Of course, I save the real resistance tactics for night time, I mean, "night" time. (Almost slipped there.)
The food here is good. They have finally figured out that American baby food is disgusting, and returned me to the normal food I have loved for months. I down lots and lots of noodles--good for helping me wiggle a lot, especially during diaper changes. I have also consumed a lot of watermelon in hopes of making my disguise more effective next time. "Be the melon. Be the melon. Be the melon."
I close my report with a favorite quotation:
"Do not go gentle into that good night . . .
Rage, rage against the dying of the light."
--Dylan Thomas
Raging on in my never-ending battle with the Sandman,
Althea
Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated. Comply.
Love, Aunt Deb
Posted by:
Greetings from Fort Collins, Colorado! Chandra and I have thoroughly enjoyed following your adventures. It makes us even more excited for the time when we hope to be taking an adventure of our own to China in a few years to adopt. I know that Chandra's parents, Norm and Arlette, are very excited for you, as well. It sounds like Althea has strong singing lungs. Perhaps she can join me sometime in song at your church?! She can dress up as a Watermelon and I can be the singing operatic Eggplant; a sort of new Veggie Tales, perhaps?
It sounds, though, that your jet lag has made you seriously silly, which is absolutely OK, of course. :) Between the Mission Impossible or Dragnet style entries and the Borg reply from Debra, we're all joining in the fun. God bless you as you enjoy each new day together as a family!!
Posted by: